


How I Fear

by Dirty_Corza



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Gambling, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 04:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10325324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza
Summary: When Anders starts to lie about what he's doing, it's impossible for Fenris to do anything but fear the worst.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadowYinYang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowYinYang/gifts).



"Anders?" Fenris woke slowly, squinting at the light pouring into their bedroom from the hall. He could see Anders' silhouette there, dark against the brightness, already poised to leave.

"Go back to sleep, love, I just... got called in to an extra shift at work, is all."

Fenris gave a small nod, watching the door close with a puddle of fear pooling in his stomach. He wanted to believe Anders was telling the truth, that getting up in the middle of the night had been nothing more than Justice calling from the clinic. But there was something about the way Anders had left, quiet enough Fenris almost didn't wake, that didn't sit well with him. Especially when this had been supposed to be a day just for them. It wasn't like Anders to take a shift without waking Fenris to let him know he'd be gone.

He sighed, curling up under the covers, one hand resting where Anders normally lay as he tried to force himself to go back to sleep.

\- - -

"Fenris, what's eating at you today? You've been grumpier than usual." Isabela asked, giving him a pointed look over the top of her cards. "Which is saying something, because you've been winning. And to still be grumpy..."

Her over-exaggerated sigh had Fenris bristling, placing his cards on the table with a huff. "Is that why I've been winning? Because you thought I was in a mood?"

She raised an eyebrow, pointedly looking between him and his cards. "If you can react like that to a royal flush, I'm right, you are. Come on. Spit it out, love."

Fenris wanted to snap at her, to storm away, but found instead all his bravado deflating as he thought back on yesterday, sitting at home alone while he waited for Anders to come home. He had even called the clinic, only to have his worst fears confirmed. Anders hadn't been called in to work that day at all. "It's... Anders." he said at last, eyes downcast as he slumped in his chair. "He is distant, and I am worried it is because I am- I am not enough."

The words seemingly fell to his chest as he said them, a heavy weight, each making it harder to breathe.

"Oh, love," Isabela spoke softly, cards set to the wayside as she moved to his side. "What happened?"

Fenris shrugged. "He- he says he has been working more. However, I-I had need of him yesterday, and called the clinic to find out he had not been called in at all. He simply... left, in the middle of the night, and lied to me about where he went."

Isabella gave a low whistle, "Something like that's enough to make anyone grumpy. And it's not like Anders. There is definitely something going on."

Fenris looked up, cautiously meeting her eye. "You suspect something other than-than-" he couldn't make himself say the words that echoed around his head, couldn't bring himself to do more than allude to what he suspected Anders of doing. "Other than what I fear?"

Isabella gave a small, reassuring slime as she replied. "I do. Because I know how he gets about you. He's a bit of an idiot, true. But deep down he cares." Her smile hardened as she continued. "And if it turns out he doesn't, well. I have some ideas I can share if that's the case."

\- - -

It was another week before Fenris woke in the middle of the night to find an unexpectedly cold bed beside him. He was out of the bed quickly, heart racing as he made his way down the hall, a relieved sigh escaping his lips when he saw Anders was still there, still home. "Anders." He couldn't help the pleading in his voice, the hint of fear that escaped from the clawed grasp it had on his heart.

"Fenris, you should be sleeping." It was impossible for Fenris to miss the wide-eyed panic on Anders' face.

"You should be, too."

Anders winced at the statement, turning away from Fenris, ducking his head. "I know, I want to, I just-"

"You just-?" Fenris let the question hang in the air between them.

Before Anders could reply, there was a sharp knock on the door. "You're late, pretty boy," a voice called out after, more than a hint of threat to their tone.

"Oh, fuck."

Fenris could barely hear his lover's muttered curse, but that was enough to have him hurrying across the room, pushing Anders out of the way as he went to throw open the door, headless of his own state of near complete undress. "What do you want with him?" he growled, narrowing his eyes as he took in the man standing outside, tall and imposing, though his answering glare only made Fenris bristle further.

"Fenris, don't-" Anders' plea was interrupted by the man outside.

"He's got a debt to pay. So unless he's eager to be rid of those pretty ears, he's coming with me," the man said with a grin, though it faltered when Fenris showed no signs of being intimidated.

"He will pay it another time. He is currently busy paying his debt to me and going back to bed," Fenris growled, his lip twitching into an almost-smile when the man flinched.

There was a pause, for a moment, silence spreading as the man looked Fenris over one last time before giving a small nod. "He had better, or the boss will be very displeased." With that, he turned and left, leaving Fenris to deal with Anders and this new revelation.

"Fenris..."

Fenris took a deep breath as he closed the door, relief and fear and anger and worry all warring for the most prominent position in his mind. "Let's go to bed," he said with a sigh, reaching out for Anders' hand as he walked by. "We can talk about this more when you are in my arms again."

Anders' light laughter, nervous as it was, brought a smile to Fenris' face as he led them back to their room. For a while, they didn't speak, as Fenris pulled Anders close to his side, cradling the larger man here his hands could clasp around his back, his chin resting on the top of his lover's head.

"Debts?" he asked at last, letting the single word speak for the multitude of questions he wanted to ask, all tangled together in his throat.

Anders gave a sigh, his breath a warm wash of air against Fenris' chest. "I- I went out after work with a few of the other RNs and, well... I got into a card game a shouldn't have. No. I got into a few card games I shouldn't have. And then, it happened again. For a few weeks." Anders' voice was soft as he told the story, though the words came quickly enough, almost as if he was worried if he stopped for more than a second to breathe, he wouldn't continue.

"The first few weeks, it was just an IOU. A "come back next time and you can win your way out of it" type of thing. Only winning never happened, and I knew it wouldn't, only I went back anyways. And that turned into... this, to pay it back. Going in on my days off to- to help them with. Things." Anders shuddered against him and Fenris couldn't help but tighten his grip, a firm reminder that he was still here, listening, holding, protecting.

"That... is not what I expected."

Anders gave a soft huff of laughter, a harsh release of breath with none of the amusement it usually carried. "What did you expect?"

Fenris swallowed tightly. "'I- I expected you had found someone else. Someone... Better. Not something like this, that I can help you with."

Anders was still for a moment, not even breathing for a moment before he was pulling away from Fenris, pushing him onto his back so he could kneel over him. "You thought I- oh love. Never." He leaned down, letting Fenris pull him down until he was lying on top of him, their foreheads pressed tightly together. "Though, what do you mean, help me with this? Those are dangerous men!"

Fenris chuckled, tilting his head to press a soft kiss to Anders' jaw. "I mean, Isabela was worried too, and I doubt even they are a match against her in a game of cards. We can worry about the details of it later, along with a plan to keep you away from cards not played with friends. Right now I wish to revel in the fact that you are in my arms."

Anders huffed, but he allowed himself to be coaxed into relaxing against Fenris, sighing contentedly as Fenris leaned in for a gentle kiss. "It's been too long since we've been able to revel in this."

Fenris smiled, nipping gently at Anders' lip. "Indeed."

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a prize for the TBAA One Year giveaway, for the wonderful ShadowYinYang.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, dear. <3


End file.
